My Spouse Just Asked for a Divorce. What Do I Do Now?

If your spouse approaches you and says that they want a divorce (or says that they have actually filed for divorce), you may be caught off guard. As you process the situation, there are several key issues to consider.

Marriage Counseling

You may explore marriage counseling. If you feel that your marriage is not beyond repair, it may be prudent to initiate a conversation about engaging in marriage counseling together. If your spouse is unwilling to commit to marriage counseling, then you might want to seek an individual therapist to provide you with a safe space to process your feelings.

Property Distribution

If marriage counseling is not an option or is unsuccessful, then it is important to begin preparing for divorce. One of the most consequential aspects of divorce is the distribution of property. In Maryland, spouses may reach their own agreement on how their property will be divided; however, if they are unable to do so, the court will decide. First, the court will classify property as either “non-marital property,” “marital property,” or “hybrid property.” Non-marital property is typically owned by one spouse; examples include property acquired prior to marriage, acquired from a third party by gift or inheritance, or traceable to any of those sources. Md. Code Ann., Family Law § 8-201(e)(3). A party may generally keep their non-marital property, and it is not subject to division.

Marital property is property acquired by one or both parties during the marriage. Md. Code Ann., Family Law § 8-201(e)(1). Marital property may include the marital home, home furnishings, bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement assets, and automobiles. All marital property is subject to division, so the court will determine its value and make an equitable distribution of it. Hybrid property refers to property that is part non-marital and part marital, and it may also be subject to division.

While this is not an exhaustive explanation of the court’s authority and process in divorce proceedings, it sets the stage for the importance of obtaining your marital and non-marital property records. As a starting point, you can create a detailed list of your and your spouse’s assets and liabilities, including those held individually, jointly, with third parties, etc. Next, gather supporting financial documentation for the past several years, such as financial statements, tax returns, and income records.

Child Custody

If you and your spouse have minor children, start brainstorming ideas about where you plan to live post-divorce and what you feel may be the best custodial arrangement for the children.

The process of preparing for divorce can be quite overwhelming, especially if you are unfamiliar with Maryland law pertaining to divorce and custody matters. To ensure you are best equipped for your divorce, you may want to consider consulting with a divorce lawyer.